This can be very frustrating, but to react negatively will not get you anywhere. Cats will quite happily pack up and leave if they are not happy with you and life in your home.
Cats do take notice of you, and they do love you, as a rule. They just do not see the point in showing it at the times when you want them to. If you manhandle your cat when she does not want to be cuddled or picked up consider yourself lucky if all she does is struggle to get down. Often cats, when confronted with this behavior, especially younger cats, will scratch and slash in order to escape. They will come back when they wish to show you affection. This is often why we think our cats consider us to be their slaves.
Dogs, on the other hand, are wired differently. People often treat their dog like a small person in the family, and this is not the right attitude to have towards your dog. Dogs love and need rules in order to function properly. A dog obeys the person they consider the leader of their pack and will go out of their way to obey and respect that person. But, if the person does not establish this relationship when the dog is a pup, then the dog will treat you with contempt, much as what you think your cat does. Jumping on people, licking them and other behaviors are not tolerated by the leader of the pack unless they initiate it, which is very rare. Watch a boisterous pup rush up to an older dog and attempt to grab the older dog’s face, or be tapped with a paw. The pup will be lucky if it only gets snarled at. These behaviors are disrespectful in the dog world and from their perspective will be in their relationship with you.